The Holiness of Coffee, Part I


The Coffee Theory of Civilization is simple and indisputable: Coffee caused European civilization.

Compare Scandinavia B.C.:

Crude Viking raiders
Subsistence farmers
Bestiality

with Scandinavia A.D. :

Nobel Peace Prize
Euthanasia
Socialism
Danish modern furniture.

Historical evidence suggests that the beginning of the Baroque period in art closely with the infusion of coffee into the indigenous European cultures.

Coffee was first introduced in Southern Italy and soon spread northward, in the same sequence as baroqueness. The advent of the Roccoco period coincides with the advent of expresso methods. However, even Coffee has proven a mixed blessing, as the genesis of the insurance racket can be traced to Lloyd's coffee house in London, where habities wagered on the safe arrival of seagoing trading vessels.

Selflessly braving untold hazards, the authors have collected several primitive chants from the secret javacrucian sect, which are recited by cultists while grinding beans, during the transsubstantion of water into starter fluid, and while actually imbibing. The most widely practiced javacrucian rite is as follows:


Facing Rising Sun (where applicable; otherwise generic East or any source of light will do), and holding the mug of Brewe, celebrant takes first sip, elevates mug, and intones, "Gods, I needed that!" and means it.


Other rare and previously unrecorded chants are offered below:

A Grinding Invocation:
We all worship the Black Bean
Body of God, Caffeine
Where there is Life There is Coffee!
Where there is Coffee there is Life!
(repeat as needed)

Hayduke's Transubstantiation chant:
Chemicals! Chemicals!
Chemicals! Chemicals!, etc.

Jamaican Blue Coffee Chant:
Ja-va! Ja-va! Ja-va!!

North America, circa 1940:
I like Coffee, I like Tea,
I like the Java-Jive and it likes me!

The little-known Creation myth of the Javacrucians was channeled one Beltane Morning by Brother Buffalo, and promptly forgotten by all, who had not yet imbined the Sacred Substance. Careful anthropological research suggests that it had something to do with the great God fillintheblank being deterred from utter destruction of mankind in a fit of disgust with the lesser god Java.


... Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
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Kurt Weiske wrote to All <=-

The Holiness of Coffee, Part I

The Coffee Theory of Civilization is simple and indisputable: Coffee caused European civilization.

Nuff said

Compare Scandinavia B.C.:

Crude Viking raiders
Subsistence farmers
Bestiality

with Scandinavia A.D. :

Nobel Peace Prize
Euthanasia
Socialism
Danish modern furniture.

Historical evidence suggests that the beginning of the Baroque period
in art closely with the infusion of coffee into the indigenous European cultures.

Coffee was first introduced in Southern Italy and soon spread
northward, in the same sequence as baroqueness. The advent of the
Roccoco period coincides with the advent of expresso methods. However, even Coffee has proven a mixed blessing, as the genesis of the
insurance racket can be traced to Lloyd's coffee house in London, where habities wagered on the safe arrival of seagoing trading
vessels.

Selflessly braving untold hazards, the authors have collected several primitive chants from the secret javacrucian sect, which
are recited by cultists while grinding beans, during the
transsubstantion of water into starter fluid, and while actually imbibing. The most widely practiced javacrucian rite is as follows:

Facing Rising Sun (where applicable; otherwise generic East or any
source of light will do), and holding the mug of Brewe, celebrant
takes first sip, elevates mug, and intones, "Gods, I needed that!" and means it.

Other rare and previously unrecorded chants are offered below:

A Grinding Invocation:
We all worship the Black Bean
Body of God, Caffeine
Where there is Life There is Coffee!
Where there is Coffee there is Life!
(repeat as needed)

Hayduke's Transubstantiation chant:
Chemicals! Chemicals!
Chemicals! Chemicals!, etc.

Jamaican Blue Coffee Chant:
Ja-va! Ja-va! Ja-va!!

North America, circa 1940:
I like Coffee, I like Tea,
I like the Java-Jive and it likes me!

The little-known Creation myth of the Javacrucians was channeled one Beltane Morning by Brother Buffalo, and promptly forgotten by all, who had not yet imbined the Sacred Substance. Careful anthropological research suggests that it had something to do with the great God fillintheblank being deterred from utter destruction of mankind in a
fit of disgust with the lesser god Java.

... Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
--- MultiMail/DOS v0.52
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(1:218/700)

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Hello Kurt!

** On Thursday 14.05.20 - 08:46, Kurt Weiske wrote to All:

Selflessly braving untold hazards, the authors have collected several primitive chants from the secret javacrucian sect, which
are recited by cultists while grinding beans, during the
transsubstantion of water into starter fluid, and while actually imbibing. The most widely practiced javacrucian rite is as
follows:

Facing Rising Sun (where applicable; otherwise generic East or any
source of light will do), and holding the mug of Brewe, celebrant
takes first sip, elevates mug, and intones, "Gods, I needed that!"
and means it.

Doesn't EVERYBODY still do that in the morining? <G>


../|ug

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* Origin: [special text for this echo only via oxp's /S edit] (2:221/1.58)

Hello August,

Facing Rising Sun (where applicable; otherwise generic East or
any source of light will do), and holding the mug of Brewe,
celebrant takes first sip, elevates mug, and intones, "Gods, I
needed that!" and means it.

Doesn't EVERYBODY still do that in the morining? <G>

I do, every morning. I actually do it in the afternoon as well and sometimes in
the evening. ;)

Ttyl :-),
Al

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Hello Al!

** On Saturday 16.05.20 - 10:10, Al wrote to August Abolins:

Hello August,

celebrant takes first sip, elevates mug, and intones, "Gods, I
needed that!" and means it.

Doesn't EVERYBODY still do that in the morining? <G>

I do, every morning. I actually do it in the afternoon as well and sometimes in the evening. ;)

I was down to just one "real" coffee per day and the rest decaf for the
last 10 years - and actually felt better for it. But since covid19 I'm up
to 3 large "real" coffees most days - and starting to regret it.


../|ug

--- OpenXP 5.0.43
* Origin: [special text for this echo only via oxp's /S edit] (2:221/1.58)

I do, every morning. I actually do it in the afternoon as well and
sometimes in the evening. ;)

I was down to just one "real" coffee per day and the rest decaf for the
last 10 years - and actually felt better for it. But since covid19 I'm up
to 3 large "real" coffees most days - and starting to regret it.

I am working on number 3 now and I can hear number 4 bubbling away in the coffee maker. I love it but I think I need to slow it down a bit.

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-4
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

.-: On Sat 16-May-2020 12:47p, August Abolins@2:221/1.58 said to Kurt Weiske

AA: Doesn't EVERYBODY still do that in the morining? <G>

I always weigh up 50g of fair trade beans, roasted in my country, every
single morning. I grind them in a burr grinder, on coarse. Then I boil purified
water and after it stops boiling, I pour it into my french press, wait 5 minutes, press it, and enter coffee nirvana. Even Kurt Cobain would be jealous!! What are you drinking these days?


AA: ../|ug

AA: --- OpenXP 5.0.43
AA: * Origin: [special text for this echo only via oxp's /S edit]
AA: (2:221/1.58)

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Doesn't EVERYBODY still do that in the morining? <G>

Nope I rarely touch the stuff. When I do, it is an iced coffee.

Mike

---
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Kris Mccabe wrote to August Abolins <=-

I always weigh up 50g of fair trade beans, roasted in my
country, every single morning. I grind them in a burr grinder, on
coarse. Then I boil purified water and after it stops boiling, I pour
it into my french press, wait 5 minutes, press it, and enter coffee nirvana. Even Kurt Cobain would be jealous!! What are you drinking
these days?

My wife's favorite bean nowadays is Peets Alma De La Tierra. We buy ir
ground, mostly because I'm lazy and make a huge mess when I grind.

We use a kettle, 2 Melitta cones, #4 paper filters (briskly washed first)
and it's a half-decent cuppa for not much time.

When I have a little more time, I have a Moka pot and a Briel Multi-Pro espresso maker that I've had for about 15 years. cafe Bustelo is still my espresso of choice - cheap, rough, and quite a kick. Nothing's quite like
it.




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.-: On Sun 17-May-2020 11:03a, Kurt Weiske@1:218/700.0 said to Kris Mccabe

KW: My wife's favorite bean nowadays is Peets Alma De La Tierra. We buy ir
KW: ground, mostly because I'm lazy and make a huge mess when I grind.

KW: We use a kettle, 2 Melitta cones, #4 paper filters (briskly washed first) KW: and it's a half-decent cuppa for not much time.

KW: When I have a little more time, I have a Moka pot and a Briel Multi-Pro KW: espresso maker that I've had for about 15 years. cafe Bustelo is still my KW: espresso of choice - cheap, rough, and quite a kick. Nothing's quite like KW: it.

Peets is good coffee for sure. I have only had it once (rather, one bag) brought back as a gift from Seattle. I am up in Canada. The best readily available coffee I have been onto lately is "Kicking Horse" Coffee. Particularly the "Smart Ass" blend. That is one thing about the coffee ritual, is the time involved. We have an espresso maker that has never even been used and I think we have had it for 1 or 2 years! The laziness is strong with me too.


KW: ... Change nothing and continue consistently
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