George,

Welcome to English where only the poorest of words have a single definition.

I love this language! (only 'cause I know it so well!)

Here's a deal I learned in 5th grade over 50 years ago...it's called
"The Nine Parts Of Speech". I'll bet most kids nowdays have no clue on
these. I capitalized the term, and the examples.

Three little words you often see, are ARTICLES -- A, AN, and THE
(pronounced "thee" for this poem).

A NOUN is the name of anything -- a HOUSE or GARDEN, HOOP or SWING.

Instead of nouns, the PRONOUNS stand...MY head, YOUR arm, HER foot, HIS hand.

ADJECTIVES tell what kind of noun...GREAT, SMALL, PRETTY, WHITE, or BROWN.

VERBS tell of something to be done...WALK, HOP, SKIP, JUMP, or RUN.

How things are done, the ADVERBS tell...SLOWLY, QUICKLY, ILL, or WELL.

A PREPOSITION stands before a noun, as IN or THROUGH the door.

CONJUNCTIONS, also called CONNECTIVES, join words together...men AND women, wind AND weather.

INTERJECTIONS show surprise. OH!! How Pretty!! AH!! How Wise!!

These are the nine parts of speech...which people write, and speak, and teach.

You may bring the apple to me, and I'll give it to you, as I'm a softie. :)

Daryl

... Conference on Global Warming canceled due to blizzard.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
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George,

Welcome to English where only the poorest of words have a single definition.

I love this language! (only 'cause I know it so well!)

Here's a deal I learned in 5th grade over 50 years ago...it's called
"The Nine Parts Of Speech". I'll bet most kids nowdays have no clue on these. I capitalized the term, and the examples.

Three little words you often see, are ARTICLES -- A, AN, and THE
(pronounced "thee" for this poem).

A NOUN is the name of anything -- a HOUSE or GARDEN, HOOP or SWING.

Instead of nouns, the PRONOUNS stand...MY head, YOUR arm, HER foot, HIS hand.

ADJECTIVES tell what kind of noun...GREAT, SMALL, PRETTY, WHITE, or BROWN.

VERBS tell of something to be done...WALK, HOP, SKIP, JUMP, or RUN.

How things are done, the ADVERBS tell...SLOWLY, QUICKLY, ILL, or WELL.

A PREPOSITION stands before a noun, as IN or THROUGH the door.

CONJUNCTIONS, also called CONNECTIVES, join words together...men AND

women,

wind AND weather.

INTERJECTIONS show surprise. OH!! How Pretty!! AH!! How Wise!!

These are the nine parts of speech...which people write, and speak, and teach.

You may bring the apple to me, and I'll give it to you, as I'm a softie. :)

I newver hasd a poem; I just had to memorize them. I've added another: The Gratuitive Intensive (e.g Very, D*mn, F*cking)

Slang,I figured out is just laziness -- it's often a word so loosely defined, it can fill in multiple parts of speech, or substitute for the words we
cannot think of quickly enough.

It is my belief there are no "bad words"; only bad usage (grammatically & as weapons)

If my son refers to his rectal oruiuice by the usual 7-letter a-word, that's fine, if he refers to another human being as such, we're going to have words; the last 4 being, "Go to your room."; unlike today's spoiled generations, his tech is all in the living room, not up in his room. . .

Any teachwer wants to castigate him for using "bad words" will be tsalkin to me, yto juustify their lack of education. If the teacher then starts off by saying he used the word to disrupt -- that's weaponized behaviour & I'll deal with him at home.

If he can't understand that speech around his parents & around his male schoolmates, in the schoolyard, isn't different, he'll learn, trust me!

Yes, I differentiate how to behave around one's fellow males, in private, & around those of the distaff set. The day you have to consider the
possibility of conceiving, carrying, & bearing children, potentially even against your will, I'll give you special consideration, too, & I expect him
to live thusly, too.

It's the same [official] reason I graciously indicate to a lady she should precede me. . .

As a male, you'll likely get what the other reason is, especially when it
comes to going up steps. . .

There's more than one reason to appreciate women, & both are valid as forms
of respect, when done resapectfully.

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't
know what day this is."

"Of course I do," he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office.
At 10 AM, the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was
handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home.

"First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!"
-=-
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife
a little gift.

"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.

She showed him a bottle costing $50.00.

"That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.

"That's still quite a bit," Tim complained.

Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.

"What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."

The clerk handed him a mirror.
-=-
Somewhere in the city there was a small apartment building. there were four floors and 1 person lived on each floor.

On the first floor there lived a police man. Everybody could tell it was him
at the door because he knocked once.

On the second floor there lived a fire man. Everybody could tell it was him
at the door because he knocked twice.

On the third floor there lived a blind man. Everybody could tell it was him
at the door because he knocked three times.

On the Fourth floor there lived a woman. Everybody could tell it was her at
the door because she knocked four times.

one day the woman was in the shower and she heard one knock at the door. She put on her robe and answered the door. It was the police man. He said "guess what! guess what! I just made my first arrest!" Then he left and the woman
went back in the shower.

Then she heard two knocks at the door. so she put on her robe and answered
the door. It was the fire man. He said "guess what! guess what! i just saved
a person from a burning building!" then he left and she went back in the shower.

A while later she heard 3 knocks at the door. She knew it was the blind man,
so she didn't put on her robe and she answered the door. He said "guess what! guess what! I just got might sight back!
-=-

There is no War of the Sexes -- there's too much fraternization with the 'enemy.'

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

I newver hasd a poem; I just had to memorize them. I've added another:
The Gratuitive Intensive (e.g Very, D*mn, F*cking)

Or those who don't like leaving tips at restaurants. Now, if a server does
a good job, I'm happy to tip them appropriately. But, I do NOT like it where they charge the 20% tip fee BEFORE you get the meal.

Slang,I figured out is just laziness -- it's often a word so loosely defined, it can fill in multiple parts of speech, or substitute for the words we cannot think of quickly enough.

The late Tex Avery did a cartoon called "Symphony In Slang". It was a ridiculously funny look if you took slang literally.

If my son refers to his rectal oruiuice by the usual 7-letter a-word, that's fine, if he refers to another human being as such, we're going
to have words; the last 4 being, "Go to your room."; unlike today's spoiled generations, his tech is all in the living room, not up in his room. . .

Or have the parents change the password on the home wi-fi. <G>

Any teachwer wants to castigate him for using "bad words" will be
tsalkin to me, yto juustify their lack of education. If the teacher
then starts off by saying he used the word to disrupt -- that's
weaponized behaviour & I'll deal with him at home.

I remember when you got spanked at school, you ended up getting a
second whipping at home...and you couldn't figure out how they found
out.

If he can't understand that speech around his parents & around his male schoolmates, in the schoolyard, isn't different, he'll learn, trust me!

Nowadays, they have no respect for their elders. On my ham radio nets,
I'll address them as "Mister John, Mister Roy, Miss Lois, Miss Virginia",
etc. When asked why, I reply "RESPECT. If I give it, they'll return it". :)

Yes, I differentiate how to behave around one's fellow males, in
private, & around those of the distaff set. The day you have to
consider the possibility of conceiving, carrying, & bearing children, potentially even against your will, I'll give you special
consideration, too, & I expect him to live thusly, too.

I am of the OLD SCHOOL. Children should be seen and not heard...and not
speak unless spoken to. Then, it's "Yes, Ma'am...No, Ma'am...Yes, Sir...
and No, Sir". I have far more respect for the kids and their parents when
the kids are well behaved.

It's the same [official] reason I graciously indicate to a lady she
should precede me. . .

My late wife taught me "what's good for me". <G>. I grew up with a brother...I didn't know it took women "forever and a day" to get ready.
The song by Brad Paisley, "Little Moments" really hits the nail on the head...and in the video, Andy Griffith is in there. :)

There's more than one reason to appreciate women, & both are valid as forms of respect, when done resapectfully.

So many men think the woman is "a sex toy". To me, they were created as
a companion (a help meet). Ironically, before I was single, I couldn't understand all the fuss about being married. Now, being a widower going
on 15 years (with loneliness real bad some days), I see the other side
of the coin.

"First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!"

Oh, boy!! As an aside, I thought the female in that movie wasn't bad
looking <wink!>. <G>

-=-
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.

"What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."

The clerk handed him a mirror.

Whoa!! <LOL!>

That's like the one where the woman goes into Macy's, and is looking
at a piece of fine (and expensive) jewelery. As she bends over to get
a better look, she farts (and it wasn't an SBD one, either). She was
hoping no one witnessed her poot, but was horrified to see a young man
standing there, asking if he could help her find something. She asked
how much this certain piece of jewelery was, and was told "Madam...if
you farted just looking at it, you're going to $h!+ when I tell you
the price!!". I guess I'm shopping at Dollar General!! <BG>

-=-
Somewhere in the city there was a small apartment building. there were four floors and 1 person lived on each floor.

Never mind the old song "Knock 3 times on the ceiling if you want me".

A while later she heard 3 knocks at the door. She knew it was the blind man, so she didn't put on her robe and she answered the door. He said "guess what! guess what! I just got might sight back!
-=-

I'll bet he got an eyeful!!

There is no War of the Sexes -- there's too much fraternization with
the 'enemy.'

True.

Daryl

... Get your free subscription before the price doubles!!
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
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* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

Or those who don't like leaving tips at restaurants. Now, if a server

does

a good job, I'm happy to tip them appropriately. But, I do NOT like it

where

they charge the 20% tip fee BEFORE you get the meal.

I'm with you -- that's just plain disonesty - the owners can put lower prices on t he menu, making you think "Oh, not a bad price" when it's actually 20% higher. I'm not responsible for your being a bad employer who doesn't pay
his employees a fair wage.

I've been known to hand a server a $5 bill, when it's combined/split tips, & say this is for you & I'll leave some on the table to go into the pool.

Or have the parents change the password on the home wi-fi. <G>

I like the pic of "modern gruonding" with a padlock attached to the prong on the charger cable.

I remember when you got spanked at school, you ended up getting a
second whipping at home...and you couldn't figure out how they found
out.

Happened to me, too, in the '70s. . .

Things were different amongst the earlier generations -- more respect, fewer scofflaws. . .

A kid shoplifted in the early 20th c, the shoppowner would take him out back
& beat him (not maim him, as that would be excessive, but he'd recall the
pain for a long time)

Kid would go home crying(pain hurts); parents would wheedle the truth out of him & give him two more beatings (ourt of love, not revenge/anger)
one for stealing & one for embarassing the family.

Those kids likely never stole anything ever again, because society & parents worked together to teach appropriate living behaviour.

I had my rebellious teen years, but I knew the realities.
When a cop caught me, I submitted gracefully to the punishment I knew I deserved. My peers would fight or run -- many died before age 25! I'm 54 & still going (& a long way from my delinquent years/attitudes)

Eventually my home learning kicked in ("teach(discipline, with rod if needed)
a child the way he should go & he will not depart from it."; no rod, but the belt came off too many times (all deserved, & never a surprise)

Nowadays, they have no respect for their elders. On my ham radio nets, I'll address them as "Mister John, Mister Roy, Miss Lois, Miss Virginia", etc. When asked why, I reply "RESPECT. If I give it, they'll return it".

:)

I love that about the US South. . . :) I tried to emulate that here, but
women get persnickety ("Ma'am? Are you calling me OLD?" (uhh, no Ma'am, I'm just trying to be respectful); If I call her miss, she goes at me for being superior & considering her a mere child!

So I try for following the appropriate degree of respect per context.

When in US milieu online, I use Ma'am for clearly adult/married women.

If I want to convey I think of her as younger, I'll use "M'Lady"(literally
the exact same word as Ma'am, but in older English instead of French); & Miss for teens & younger.

I can defend my calling women "girls" by pointing out the definition I
learned, from the dictionary, when young, is "young woman"; the problem is
the feminists(with an agenda) have decided "girl" ONLY means "prepubescent femae human"

I reject malicious manipulation of my language & refuse to kowtow. . .

English puns make me feel numb
But math puns make me feel number

Why is the English weather like a Muslim (not bigoted)
Because its either Sunni or shi'ite

I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language
I don’t know why.

Some people say that "icy" is the easiest word in the English language to spell.
When I think about it, I see why.

Q: What do you call a software engineer who was an English teacher?
A: A pro-grammar

English for foreigners... When do S and C sound the same?
When it's necessary.

A English man, a Spaniard, a French man, and a German. Go to a club. The guy
on stage asks if they can see him. They said
“Yes”
“Oui”
“Sí”
“Ja”

(to cop): Is it a crime to throwe sodium chloride into somebody's eyes?
COP: Yes, it's assault
tc: I know it's a salt, but is it a crime?

What did Matthew McConaughey say to his English class?
All write, all write, all write

for all those learning English, still, here's a tip: "read" rhymes with
"lead" & "read" is pronounced similarly to "lead." No need to thank me.

Q: What do you call an English fisherman?
A: Angler Saxon

Q: What is an English Teacher’s favourite drink?
A: Tequila mockingbird

Yes, I differentiate how to behave around one's fellow males, in private, & around those of the distaff set. The day you have to consider the possibility of conceiving, carrying, & bearing children, potentially even against your will, I'll give you special consideration, too, & I expect him to live thusly, too.

I am of the OLD SCHOOL. Children should be seen and not heard...and not speak unless spoken to. Then, it's "Yes, Ma'am...No, Ma'am...Yes, Sir...
and No, Sir". I have far more respect for the kids and their parents when the kids are well behaved.

It's the same [official] reason I graciously indicate to a lady she should precede me. . .

My late wife taught me "what's good for me". <G>. I grew up with a brother...I didn't know it took women "forever and a day" to get ready.
The song by Brad Paisley, "Little Moments" really hits the nail on the head...and in the video, Andy Griffith is in there. :)

There's more than one reason to appreciate women, & both are valid as forms of respect, when done resapectfully.

So many men think the woman is "a sex toy". To me, they were created as
a companion (a help meet). Ironically, before I was single, I couldn't understand all the fuss about being married. Now, being a widower going
on 15 years (with loneliness real bad some days), I see the other side
of the coin.

"First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my

life!"

Oh, boy!! As an aside, I thought the female in that movie wasn't bad looking <wink!>. <G>

-=-
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring

his

wife a little gift.

"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.

"What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."

The clerk handed him a mirror.

Whoa!! <LOL!>

That's like the one where the woman goes into Macy's, and is looking
at a piece of fine (and expensive) jewelery. As she bends over to get
a better look, she farts (and it wasn't an SBD one, either). She was
hoping no one witnessed her poot, but was horrified to see a young man standing there, asking if he could help her find something. She asked
how much this certain piece of jewelery was, and was told "Madam...if
you farted just looking at it, you're going to $h!+ when I tell you
the price!!". I guess I'm shopping at Dollar General!! <BG>

-=-
Somewhere in the city there was a small apartment building. there

were

four floors and 1 person lived on each floor.

Never mind the old song "Knock 3 times on the ceiling if you want me".

A while later she heard 3 knocks at the door. She knew it was the

blind

man, so she didn't put on her robe and she answered the door. He said "guess what! guess what! I just got might sight back!
-=-

I'll bet he got an eyeful!!

There is no War of the Sexes -- there's too much fraternization with the 'enemy.'

True.

Daryl

... Get your free subscription before the price doubles!!
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

I'm with you -- that's just plain disonesty - the owners can put lower prices on t he menu, making you think "Oh, not a bad price" when it's actually 20% higher. I'm not responsible for your being a bad employer who doesn't pay his employees a fair wage.

There was a Burger King restaurant in Nebraska, where apparently the franchisee has horrible working conditions and benefits for the employees.
It can get HOT in those kitchens, and combined with a long shift, it can
take its toll in several ways. Well, the employees put out on the sign out front:

WE ALL QUIT. SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE.

It was up for a few hours, before it got taken down...but not before it
went viral. Apparently, the place is still understaffed.

I like the pic of "modern gruonding" with a padlock attached to the
prong on the charger cable.

That works, too. :)

Things were different amongst the earlier generations -- more respect, fewer scofflaws. . .

That's for sure. Nowadays, the kids treat their parents like crap.

Those kids likely never stole anything ever again, because society & parents worked together to teach appropriate living behaviour.

There isn't much of that anymore. The thugs have weapons, and aren't
afraid to hurt or kill anyone who gets in their way. Many Target and
Walgreens stores in California have closed early, or shut down entirely,
for all the shoplifting.

I had my rebellious teen years, but I knew the realities.

Most kids nowadays don't care, or know their parents won't do a thing
about it.

So I try for following the appropriate degree of respect per context.

Nowadays, everyone is offended at everything.

English puns make me feel numb
But math puns make me feel number

You can count on that.

Why is the English weather like a Muslim (not bigoted)
Because its either Sunni or shi'ite

Never mind the rising of the crescent moon.

I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language
I don’t know why.

Well, if plan A doesn't work, you have 25 other letters to work with.

Some people say that "icy" is the easiest word in the English language
to spell.
When I think about it, I see why.

That was cold.

Q: What do you call a software engineer who was an English teacher?
A: A pro-grammar

Real programmers practice safe hex.

English for foreigners... When do S and C sound the same?
When it's necessary.

I find it interesting how spellings of various words differ between the
US, and places like Canada, the UK, and Austrailia.

Q: What do you call an English fisherman?
A: Angler Saxon

If he can get the lure on, and the fish off the hook in record time, does that make him a master baiter??

Q: What is an English Teacher’s favourite drink?
A: Tequila mockingbird

There was a BBS by that name, but I think it shut down.

Daryl

... GPS: Great Posterior Seated.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
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There was a Burger King restaurant in Nebraska, where apparently the franchisee has horrible working conditions and benefits for the employees. It can get HOT in those kitchens, and combined with a long shift, it can take its toll in several ways. Well, the employees put out on the sign out front:

WE ALL QUIT. SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE.

It was up for a few hours, before it got taken down...but not before it went viral. Apparently, the place is still understaffed.

Good on them!

We don't have to work as slaves -- that got abolished a long time ago. . .

That's for sure. Nowadays, the kids treat their parents like crap.

Yup; was on the skytrain (commuter train here in Metro Vancouver) and a mom
was holding her infant over her shoulder, patting hyim, going, "shhh, shhh," when the little one said, clear as day, "f*** you, mommy."

There isn't much of that anymore. The thugs have weapons, and aren't afraid to hurt or kill anyone who gets in their way. Many Target and Walgreens stores in California have closed early, or shut down entirely,
for all the shoplifting.

Yup, get the kids young & teach them correctly, using corporal means, if necessary.

English for foreigners... When do S and C sound the same?
When it's necessary.

I find it interesting how spellings of various words differ between the US, and places like Canada, the UK, and Austrailia.

Here's a common phrase where it has 3 Cs, all 3 pronounced differently:
PACIFIC OCEAN

UK has warm pissy tasting beer
US has cold beery tasting piss
AU: doesn't care, so long as it has high alcohol content

Q: What is an English Teacher’s favourite drink?
A: Tequila mockingbird

There was a BBS by that name, but I think it shut down.

I may have visited it back in the day. . .

A Metric Dozen<TM> of TAGLINES:

Federal Law prohibits the removal of this tagline
Procrastination Day Has Been Postponed!
Taglines: the toilet-stall walls of BBSdom.
Talk is cheap -- supply exceeds demand!
Lye, Cheetham, and Steele: Attorneys at Law
Mason-Dixon Line n. Separates y'all from youse guys
PRESS To test. <click> RELEASE to detonate.
Sir! Romulan Warbird decloakingò2šOÿ:þ­ãbœ— NO CARRIER
Strip mining prevents forest fires.
A penny saved is a Congressional oversight.

DISCLAIMER: I claim no allegiance for or against anything I post in this
echo. All rights reserved. All lefts enlisted. Your rights may vary state by state, but don't count on it. No imaginary animals were killed in the making
of this echo post. Satisfaction guaranteed or triple your money back.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

We don't have to work as slaves -- that got abolished a long time ago.

It's as bad as at the stores now, where they want you to go through
the self checkout. Sorry, I don't work there. If you want me to go
through self checkout, you'll give me a discount.

Yup; was on the skytrain (commuter train here in Metro Vancouver) and a mom was holding her infant over her shoulder, patting hyim, going,
"shhh, shhh," when the little one said, clear as day, "f*** you,
mommy."

<Shudder!>.

Yup, get the kids young & teach them correctly, using corporal means,
if necessary.

Nowadays, they consider that abuse. I got more than my share of spankings growing up, and I consider myself better for it.

A Metric Dozen<TM> of TAGLINES:

Federal Law prohibits the removal of this tagline
Procrastination Day Has Been Postponed!
Taglines: the toilet-stall walls of BBSdom.
Talk is cheap -- supply exceeds demand!
Lye, Cheetham, and Steele: Attorneys at Law
Mason-Dixon Line n. Separates y'all from youse guys
PRESS To test. <click> RELEASE to detonate.
Sir! Romulan Warbird decloakingò2šOÿ:þ­*bœ— NO CARRIER
Strip mining prevents forest fires.
A penny saved is a Congressional oversight.

I'll add these to the collection. :)


... Get your free subscription before the price doubles!!
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

It's as bad as at the stores now, where they want you to go through
the self checkout. Sorry, I don't work there. If you want me to go
through self checkout, you'll give me a discount.

They claim the overall prices are lower, but we know the savings goes 100% to corporate profits & $0.0000000001% to lower prices.

I prefer to have a human there to ask last-minute questions of, & to claim my free stuff without delays (here there's a polixcy that if any item rings up even 1c higher than ANY printed/posted price, you get it free, up to $10 -- I claim $20-$50/year or more. . .

Yup; was on the skytrain (commuter train here in Metro Vancouver) and

a

mom was holding her infant over her shoulder, patting hyim, going, "shhh, shhh," when the little one said, clear as day, "f*** you, mommy."

<Shudder!>.

My reaction, too!

Yup, get the kids young & teach them correctly, using corporal means, if necessary.

Nowadays, they consider that abuse. I got more than my share of

spankings

growing up, and I consider myself better for it.

Sdame here! I was stubborn, so the belyt ca,e out more than it needed to (apparently my own choice)

But I could never say I diodbn't know the diffwerence between right & wrong, though! Still can't (& don't); I was blewssed to have a father who truly
loved me & honoured God & the job God gave him of being a father.

... Get your free subscription before the price doubles!!

The trick stores do now is give you a nice sale (30% off, no limits) then
when the sale price ends, the price is double the original! :(

On Jeff Dunham: I heard one of his newer shows the other day & I see what you mean -- it was jarring the gratuitous F-bombs. I'm okay with one or two done
in the right timing to add to the humour, not disract one. . .

Get his early stuff -- no swears. . .

I haven't kept up my subscription to the Scrabble club....
Now they have started sending me threatening letters.

I'm very disappointed with my Amazon Prime subscription!
it will only let me watch episodes 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13

A year ago, I got a subscription to a magazine for mentally ill people.
Now I have many issues.

My Dad to a telemarketer selling magazine subscriptions...
No thanks, we're all illiterate. (I'm going to use this one!)

Someone approached me and asked me to help save the Amazon
So I signed up for a Prime subscription and restocked my bookcase.

My newspaper subscription is a joke.
I don't get it.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

They claim the overall prices are lower, but we know the savings goes
100% to corporate profits & $0.0000000001% to lower prices.

Exactly. And none to their employees.

I prefer to have a human there to ask last-minute questions of, & to
claim my free stuff without delays (here there's a polixcy that if any item rings up even 1c higher than ANY printed/posted price, you get it free, up to $10 -- I claim $20-$50/year or more. . .

One time in college, my books came to $77.77 (this was over 40 years ago). The cashier said "Looks like you hit the jackpot!!". I said "Does that mean
I get my books free??". When she said "No", I growled "Damn!!" <G>.

"shhh, shhh," when the little one said, clear as day, "f*** you, mommy."

<Shudder!>.

My reaction, too!

I would've beat that kid within an inch of his life.

But I could never say I didn't know the diffwerence between right &
wrong, though! Still can't (& don't); I was blessed to have a father
who truly loved me & honoured God & the job God gave him of being a father.

When a son follows in his father's footsteps, that's the ultimate
compliment.

The trick stores do now is give you a nice sale (30% off, no limits)
then when the sale price ends, the price is double the original! :(

That's the new math. :P

On Jeff Dunham: I heard one of his newer shows the other day & I see
what you mean -- it was jarring the gratuitous F-bombs. I'm okay with
one or two done in the right timing to add to the humour, not disract
one. . .

It's like rap music...every other word is profanity.

I haven't kept up my subscription to the Scrabble club....
Now they have started sending me threatening letters.

There are memes why Snow White and Santa won't play Scrabble with the
7 dwarfs or the eleves, respectively...because of the tiles they got. :P

I'm very disappointed with my Amazon Prime subscription!
it will only let me watch episodes 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13

Par for the course.

A year ago, I got a subscription to a magazine for mentally ill people. Now I have many issues.

I see that in your posts. <g,d,r>

My Dad to a telemarketer selling magazine subscriptions...
No thanks, we're all illiterate. (I'm going to use this one!)

Illiterate?? Read below where you can write today for free help!!

Someone approached me and asked me to help save the Amazon
So I signed up for a Prime subscription and restocked my bookcase.

Sounds like it should've been medium rare instead of well done on the ribbing.

My newspaper subscription is a joke.
I don't get it.

That's why most have gone to online only.

Daryl

... "The ultimate censorship is the flick of the dial." -Tom Smothers
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

They claim the overall prices are lower, but we know the savings goes 100% to corporate profits & $0.0000000001% to lower prices.

Exactly. And none to their employees.

My formula fgor business success is:
1. customer first (cuz you want/need their money)
2. then employees (cuz thety help #1 leave cash behind)
3. bottom line will take care of itself when you have 1 & 2.

One time in college, my books came to $77.77 (this was over 40 years

ago).

The cashier said "Looks like you hit the jackpot!!". I said "Does that

mean

I get my books free??". When she said "No", I growled "Damn!!" <G>.

$77.77 might get you ONE used textbook today!

"shhh, shhh," when the little one said, clear as day, "f*** you, mommy."

<Shudder!>.

My reaction, too!

I would've beat that kid within an inch of his life.

You'd beat a 2yo for being the way God made him (to repeat/copy what he hears
& sees, while learning?)

Most likely the dad needed the beating.

But I could never say I didn't know the diffwerence between right & wrong, though! Still can't (& don't); I was blessed to have a father who truly loved me & honoured God & the job God gave him of being a father.

When a son follows in his father's footsteps, that's the ultimate compliment.

I'm trying -0 I had no idea how tough the job was! :D

Overheard:
When I left for college, my dad was the dumbest person on Earth. I came back later & I was shocked at how much smarter he had become in just 4 years!

The trick stores do now is give you a nice sale (30% off, no limits) then when the sale price ends, the price is double the original! :(

That's the new math. :P

Ythe old new ath involved letters like X & N, now the new new [corporate]
math includes letters like F & U. . .


[new Jeff Dunham]

It's like rap music...every other word is profanity.

Pretty much & just as annoying & boring. . . I'm not offended, just weary & bored, & having to use up time to go find his older shows & rewatch them instead, because they were pure genius!

There are memes why Snow White and Santa won't play Scrabble with the
7 dwarfs or the eleves, respectively...because of the tiles they got. :P

I've only seen one played by Santa & Rudolph, with Rudolph's tile rack
spelling FAT {child of unwed parents} & Santa's reading VENISON STEW

A year ago, I got a subscription to a magazine for mentally ill

people.

Now I have many issues.

I see that in your posts. <g,d,r>

Then my [volunteer] job is being done well. :D

My newspaper subscription is a joke.
I don't get it.

That's why most have gone to online only.

I only subscribed when they guaranteed me 100% money back if I'm unsatisfied
-- I giver it a fair go for a couple weeks, bt thenm my 6th paper doesn't
show up & it takes hours to get a replacement, then I just call them up to cancel & get my money back!

They don't offer any more because I put them on a DoNotCall list internally,
as I got too many solicitations in general, then they offered me the free newspaper offer, but only for 3 days free, so no thanks. . .

One guy's 10 game plays for telemarketers calling him:

1. " Mr. Daum is happy to speak to you. His billing rate is $500 per hour. If you'll give me your credit card number now, I'll book a time slot just for you."

2. "Oh, I thought you were my ride? Can you Uber a car for me?"

3. "I'm busy now, but I'm free around midnight. Can I have your home phone number so I can call you back?"

4. "I am planning to audition for The Voice next week. I've been practicing Sinatra's "My Way." Could you tell me what you think?"

5. "What are you wearing?"

6. "Wanna know what I'm wearing?"

7. "Can you please call back? I am on the other line with my proctologist and he is trying to explain to me why I am a perfect ass."

8. "I am so glad you called. I just finished memorizing the Gettysburg
Address. Can I try it out on you?"

9. "Nice to hear from you! I'm fundraising on behalf of ' Kanye for
President.' Can I count on you for a donation?

10. "My puppy has been doing the cutest things all morning. If you give me
your cell number I'll text you some pictures."

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

First, my apologies for the delay in replying. I had to be ambulatory
to an area hospital on Thursday. It turns out that I have atrial flutter,
a form of atrial fibrillation...which can lead to a fatal stroke or heart attack, if not caught in time. They have me on a blood thinner, and a medication to stabilize the heart rate and blood pressure.

My formula for business success is:
1. customer first (cuz you want/need their money)
2. then employees (cuz thety help #1 leave cash behind)
3. bottom line will take care of itself when you have 1 & 2.

When I was working in silkscreen printing, one customer said "The
Customer Is Always Right"...and I replied "The Jury is still out on
that". There have been some "strange ones" that come in. Even though
there is a menu or display board, showing what the business offers,
and the prices, people still ask for something we obviously don't do
or have.

$77.77 might get you ONE used textbook today!

And soon, that'll be for one tank of gasoline for your vehicle. :P

I would've beat that kid within an inch of his life.

You'd beat a 2yo for being the way God made him (to repeat/copy what he hears & sees, while learning?)

Most likely the dad needed the beating.

I wish more parents would take heed to the song that country-western
star Rodney Atkins did, "Watching You".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uzK3VwzraM

It apparently is a true story for an event that happened in his life.

In short, his Dad and his 4 year old son went to town to get lunch
at McDonald's. A green traffic light went red, and Daddy slammed on
the brakes...his son's food and drink went flying, and his son said
the S word. Daddy asked him where he learned how to talk like that...
his son said "I've been watching you".

Needless to say, that crushed his Dad...so when they got home, his
Dad prayed to The Lord "Please help me help my stupid self".

Later that night, as he turns on his son's Scooby Doo nightlight at
bedtime, his son crawls out of bed, gets down on his knees, closed
his eyes, folded his hands, and spoke to God like he was talking to
a friend. When Daddy asked him where he learned to pray like that...
his son said "I've been watching you".

That brought Dad to tears, and he gave his son a big hug. Just
looking at that video again brought tears to my eyes, as it was so
beautiful.

But, you're right...kids are so impressionable. Go back to the
infant who cussed out her Mom.

The old new ath involved letters like X & N, now the new new
[corporate] math includes letters like F & U. . .

Really.

Pretty much & just as annoying & boring. . . I'm not offended, just
weary & bored, & having to use up time to go find his older shows & rewatch them instead, because they were pure genius!

Folks like George Burns, Bob Hope, Red Skelton, Groucho Marx, and many
more, proved you don't have to be dirty to be funny.

I've only seen one played by Santa & Rudolph, with Rudolph's tile rack spelling FAT {child of unwed parents} & Santa's reading VENISON STEW

That's them. <G>

Now I have many issues.

I see that in your posts. <g,d,r>

Then my [volunteer] job is being done well. :D

You need another 0 added to your salary. <BG>

I only subscribed when they guaranteed me 100% money back if I'm unsatisfied -- I giver it a fair go for a couple weeks, bt thenm my
6th paper doesn't show up & it takes hours to get a replacement, then I just call them up to cancel & get my money back!

You have to. I have an online digital subscription to The Miami Herald (Florida), as I follow their sports coverage with my late father's alma
mater, the University Of Miami.

One guy's 10 game plays for telemarketers calling him:

Those are funny...I'll have to add them to my file...and remember to
use them. <G>

Daryl

... Newspaper Headline: "Local Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide."
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

First, my apologies for the delay in replying. I had to be ambulatory
to an area hospital on Thursday. It turns out that I have atrial flutter,
a form of atrial fibrillation...which can lead to a fatal stroke or heart attack, if not caught in time. They have me on a blood thinner, and a medication to stabilize the heart rate and blood pressure.

No worries; happy you go through it okay & they seem to have fixed you up
okay. . .

Take your meds regularly, as indicated, on time, exact dose.

My formula for business success is:
1. customer first (cuz you want/need their money)
2. then employees (cuz thety help #1 leave cash behind)
3. bottom line will take care of itself when you have 1 & 2.

When I was working in silkscreen printing, one customer said "The
Customer Is Always Right"...and I replied "The Jury is still out on
that". There have been some "strange ones" that come in. Even though
there is a menu or display board, showing what the business offers,
and the prices, people still ask for something we obviously don't do
or have.

I learned in my current job to never say no -- they are paying for anythinbg they askl for & their request is enough for us to bill them.

If they just say "Move patient X safely & as quickly as possible from Brazil
to Canada," we do it & then just give them the bill for $4M & change
(itemized, of course -- we're not monsters!)

Maybe 10-20% of that finds it way to supporting our company, most of it is
just cashflow right to the providers we used.

$77.77 might get you ONE used textbook today!

And soon, that'll be for one tank of gasoline for your vehicle. :P

A guy I did moving jobs with had a Ford pickup that might cost that much (it was an F-350, with dual gas tanks;. he co9uld pop another 100gal tank into
the bed to load yp when he finds cheap gas (there's one sytastion in bwetween
a couploe munbicipalities that is the cheapest gas in 1,000 miles all
around!); he'd fill up all 3 tanks on the January trip down to see his dad, & the difference in price paid for 3 20-hour roundtrips o9f driving, including paying ferry 8 times!

I wish more parents would take heed to the song that country-western
star Rodney Atkins did, "Watching You".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uzK3VwzraM

Very nice! I've saved that one into my favorites!

Google up:
Dorothy Law Nolte Poem "Children Learn What They Live"

For the one I picture when considering the concept.

Folks like George Burns, Bob Hope, Red Skelton, Groucho Marx, and many more, proved you don't have to be dirty to be funny.

For a more modern one, just as funny & clean, but now, sadly, RIP, look up
John Pinette on YouTube -- he's a great story teller who takes you with him
on his hilarious adventures

You have to. I have an online digital subscription to The Miami Herald (Florida), as I follow their sports coverage with my late father's alma mater, the University Of Miami.

If you have to get it yourself on their page, it's your own fault if it's
late, eh? :D

... Newspaper Headline: "Local Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide."

I've actually seen some just as dumb.

I'm still trying to figure out how they ruled a death as homicide when cause
of death wAs "Unknown"

If killing a man is homicide, is killing a friend homiecide?

The police department made all homicide detectives stay under quarantine for two weeks.

!They had coroner-virus.

Ive never understood school shooting jokes
Guess they are aimed at a younger audience

My Roomba accidentally went out the front door, and the neighborhood animals immediately started attacking it.
Nature abhors a vacuum.

So if a group of crows killed another group of crows...
Would that be double homicide?

At a soccer match with Julius Caesar, Brutus asked, "What's the score, O Caesar?" Caesar replied...
"8-2, Brutus."

Apparently, a man recently destroyed his own house.
He was convicted of homicide.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)