Two blonde friends were going on a trip to Florida. A neighbor told them that they'd be fine as long as they paid attention to the road signs along the way. But they'd driven just 30 miles when they saw one that read,
"Clean Restrooms Ahead."
Two months later, they arrived in Florida exhausted, having used up 86 bottles of Windex, 267 rolls of paper towels, and three cases of toilet-
bowl
cleaner.
Total restrooms cleaned: 450.
Give me their future itineraries; I'd like to plan my next driving vacation behind them. . .
Rumours heard:
Preface: I live in Ohio.
Over the years my dad and I have taken lots of trips together or vacations to different states. Well whenever he goes to pay for something with cash, thinking he's real clever, he asks the cashier if they accept Ohio money. Every. Single. Time. The cashier instantly gets super confused and kinda just stares awkwardly. Despite how dumb the joke is I honestly do get a chuckle
out of how uncomfortable the cashiers get lol.
My boss is a good guy and a good boss, but he always says the same 5 or so jokes (he has two young kids). Anytime he pulls up to a job that we've been working on its "you aren't done yet?" or its "great job, but why are they upside down". Every time someone walks up to a job they get a loud "shhhh,
here they come". I can go on and on, he has comedy routines for almost every situation.
So that's what I have to deal with.
Last weekend he took a mini-vacation, and brought me back a bottle of hot
sauce (I'm something of a heatseeker) and the bottle was layer with all sorts of sexual innuendo that it'll get you hard and great at sex.
The other day I send him a text message around lunch time that only said "I have to go to the emergency room." Not 30 seconds pass and I get a phone call from him.
Boss: "What happened?"
Me: "Well, this morning I put some of that hot sauce you gave me on my eggs, and I've had an erection lasting more than four hours."
Boss: dryly "Ha. Ha. Haaa."
Meanwhile my coworker is dying of laughter and I'm trying to keep it
together.
I've told everyone about this the past couple days.
-=-
my girlfriend is on vacation and told me she was going to bring me home something.
She just texted me "I got you some candy today"
I said "That's so sweet!"
she said "I could barf now."
I'm just glad she got the joke! I'm going to be a great father one day!
Your friend,
<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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