I've been enbjoying listening to lost '70s music on accuradio of late.

I just realized today that there was a LOT of love songs, exalting the conceptsd of true love, & downplaying the sexual & short-term aspects.

I can omly imaginethisr was society's response to the giant flesh fest that was the Free Love era (ended in '71 or '72 or thereabouts, did it? I missed it all, as I was born in '67)

It's nice, but the songs are backwards or today, especially this one: https://www.songfacts.com/facts/the-osmonds/love-me-for-a-reason

He was asking her to quit playing 'games' & to love him ytruly,. for the long term, for love aolone, not just the short-term games.

This oneresonated, as my last 3 girlfriends, beforee getting married, I could have sung thisd to then, word for word.

I've noticed that today, women tend to want to only 'play' for short term non- relationships, but now it's the men who want to commit & receive one in return
-- makes for many brokenhearts, as I suppose it did when it was the other way around.

This seems to be the trend now, for young & 'older' women.

Has it sdwitched before like this? Was there another time that the music & lyrics encouraged women to be players?

I know in Shakespeare's time, the lyrics(poetry) of the time extolled unrequited love (the man loving the woman totally & as if committed, while she held off & was wooed by others); I think this is still a theme in some 'Chick Lit' novels. . .

Sucks that men & womemn can't ever get onthe sdame page -- even our hormones are off kilter -- a big prank buy God? We reach our sexual peak at 18; they reach it at around 30! Then you got men wanting younger women *LOL*

I get it -- it's funny, but it's tough, too. . .

The smart 18 year olds who want to 'play' seek out the cougars & they match up nicely, but if they marry, it often won't last, unless both are exceptionally aware of the patterns to come.

Women tend to care what their girlfriends think, & guys likewise for their bros.

Women hate being the "older" one in a relationship, after about 25 -- I've even known of some who were all bothereed by a difference of just days!

I dated women 14 years older than me for a time -- as they were just more mature & had something intelligent to say when we weren't naked. (Don't get me wrong -- naked time is fun, too; with or without conversation)

But to a pers9on, t hey were concerned about me bveing younger! (not concerned about my disability & health problems at all; in fact5, tyhe oposite, tyhey looked forward to assisting me in any ways they could (I turn down that sort of attitude, as I know it'll soon enough tuyrn into "I'm not a fleeping nurse! I wabnt to be your psartner, not your caregiver!" & I'm good with that -- I wanted a partner/wife, not a nurse or someone likewise overly dependent.

Tough going for the guys dating today & the most popular music(lyrics) isn't helping the situation for any age group's music.

A serious guy's best bet, IMO, is to get into country (to bad it's all Rockabilly now) & hang out at western-themed bars & get a big ol' cowgirl who is totally traditional.

To ALL: What;'s been your experience with changing mores relating to dating & relationships? & what are your thoughts on the subject, including advice for any young'uns reading this echo?

I'm soon going to begin a campaign locally here to try to get people onto Fido & BBSing. . . 2M population -- I think I should be abnle to find a core group.

Guess I'd best get out & learn how to start up a BBS & become a Fido echomail node/route. . . I know there's BBS Corner out there; anyone know of other helpful sites for newbie sysops who want a telnet board?


--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

CP wrote --

I've noticed that today, women tend to want to only 'play' for short term non-relationships, but now it's the men who want to commit & receive one in return

I have no idea.
Been out of the dating scene many years. And no desire to resume.
But I would imagine its due to women wanting to be equal to men, "if a
man can do it so can I" attitude in many things.

I know in Shakespeare's time, the lyrics(poetry) of the time extolled unrequited love (the man loving the woman totally & as if committed, while she held off & was wooed by others)

At one time women were dependent on men.
They were looking for someone who could provide secuity for them (home, clothes, money, etc) since they were generally unable to provide for
themselves (not allowed to work, etc).
Female birds look for a male with the best plumage for their mates.
Female humans looked for a man with money. (There were always exceptions of course.)
In ancient days daughters were in per-arranged marriages, uniting various families. The daughter often had no say in the matter. (I'm sure there was grumbling by the daughters but they had little say in the matter).
Joe
--- Platinum Xpress/Win/WINServer v3.0pr5
* Origin: Fidonet Since 1991 www.doccyber.org bbs.docsplace.org (1:135/392)

CP wrote --

I've noticed that today, women tend to want to only 'play' for short term

non-relationships, but now it's the men who want to commit & receive one in return
I have no idea.
Been out of the dating scene many years. And no desire to resume.
But I would imagine its due to women wanting to be equal to men, "if a
man can do it so can I" attitude in many things.

Yup, that's definitely part of it & no caring if that's an old demon they're hoisting & flogging, or not. . .

At one time women were dependent on men.
They were looking for someone who could provide secuity for them (home, clothes, money, etc) since they were generally unable to provide for themselves (not allowed to work, etc).

Yup, & the man willing to 'climb the highest mountain'(etc), who is desired, but has little wealth, shows himself at least willing to sacrifice & work for her whim/happiness.

In ancient days daughters were in per-arranged marriages, uniting various families. The daughter often had no say in the matter. (I'm sure there was grumbling by the daughters but they had little say in the matter).

Yup, often these were marriages providing an alliance between families that ensured a certain prosperity & safety for her parents & younger siblings. . .

Funny thing, some demonisers point to the Bible as proof that this is the only rioght way, yet the Bible shows the exact oposite, in a daughter choosing her husbhand, in spite of her father's stated wishes & even the father told her suitor, "It will depend on her assent, of course."

My wife's first born girl, who lives with the two of us has expressed her preference that we screen anyone dshe gets seious about, as she recognizes we4 hacve experience with people that's longer than hers &, in such a matter, more chemically & hormonally objective.

She knows I might be bribed with enough sheep, goats, & oxen, of course! *LOL*



--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)